So, I've made a number of attempts at running a Scion game, but they never seem to work out right. However, they occasionally provide me with humorous anecdotes on the scale of the "two dwarfs in lederhosen scaling a cocaine Matterhorn" story.
First, it's important to know the characters involved in this little kerfluffle:
Tuco Jimenez: A Scion of Tezcatlipoca, Tuco is a Mexican drug dealer, human trafficker and all-around douchenozzle. He engages in fucked up behavior for the pure enjoyment of it, such as starting a gun battle in a Vegas casino by giving one guy and gun and magically convincing him the cops are after him, so that when some cops show up to deal with the riot that Tuco ALSO started, the dupe starts taking potshots at them. Tuco has an entourage of 5 burly Mexicans who all look vaguely like Danny Trejo in Desperado, as well as a pet jaguar.
Saoirse (SEER-sha): A Scion of the Morrigan, Saoirse was raised by her Irish gunrunner father, and turned out to be rather skilled in that particular trade. She's also quite talented in the use of said guns and demonstrates that talent frequently, as she inherited her mother's temper along with all that divinity. Saoirse is accompanied only by Dougal, a sidhe of the Unseelie Court (of which her mother is the Queen) who has been assigned to her as a sort of punishment. Whether Saoirse or Dougal is being punished, nobody can decide. Saoirse is unaware of Dougal's primary commandment from the Morrigan, which is to obey any direct command Saoirse (these damn gaelic names give me the gyp, says the man named Liam) gives him. Dougal, being a smartass and a bastard, does everything in his power to prevent Saoirse from finding out about this little codicil. Saoirse has been trying to get Dougal into bed for a while now, which Dougal manfully resists, fearing the Morrigan (his queen) would force-feed him his own testicles if he slept with the "princess".
In any event, the Band makes their way to Denver, where there's some sort of titanspawn plot in the hatching (so trite I can't even remember what it was), and check into a local hotel. To entertain himself, Tuco finds himself five prostitutes and takes them back to his room. He tells two of them to make out on the bed, sends one into the bathroom so his men have someone to train for their own amusement, and the last two crouch naked on either side of the chair he has appropriated for himself, while his jaguar lounges on top of the armoire. All the noise this generates so much noise that other folks start to investigate. The intelligent wolf companion of the Scion of Amaterasu and the intelligent dog companion of the Scion of Hel both show up, drawn by the smell as much as the noise, and are invited to join the two prostitutes on the bed. Both canines, being intelligent and frustrated, happily take part. Dougal shows up while Saoirse is away, and joins in as well. Finally, the Scion of Amaterasu shows up, looks at his wolf (who is also his son, the player being somewhat of a completist where Japanese mythology is concerned) with a look of severe disappointment, and the whole thing breaks up. Dougal returns to Saoirse's room to take a shower. The Scion of Amaterasu returns to the interrupted meeting, where Saoirse hears about Dougal's involvement in the affair and storms off. She finds Dougal still in the shower and he has locked the door. In a rage, she walks back out into the corridor and starts firing THROUGH THE WALL into the bathroom, causing Dougal to run out of the bathroom, whereupon she chases him out onto the balcony, as he tries to calmly and quickly reason with her silent rage. Finally, she backs him against the balcony railing, shoots him in the belly, and dumps him over the edge. Being a supernatural being of more-than-piddling power, a 15-story-drop while gutshot is little more than an inconvenience to Dougal, who is more upset when Saoirse starts shredding his clothing and dumping it out the window, leaving him with a wardrobe consisting entirely of a single bloodstained towel.
This is the kind of shit my players inflict on me, so I must credit them for being such a source of amusement to you all.
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